Weight I have lost

Friday, October 17, 2008

Congratulations, Al! There's nothing wrong with you...

*warning* a lot of this post is about shit, literally.

I weighed yesterday. I had gained .4 pounds
So yesterday I worked from home. I had to fast for 24 hours and my office is full of popcorn eaters. So I wanted no temptations. Hours 1-4 were miserable, but after that it wasn't bad. I avoided the grocery store by going to CVS to get the lovely Mirolax, Ducolax and Gatorade that I needed for my "cocktail."

So 3PM: Take 2 Ducolax. I drank some water and some Gatorade (I think I had 9-20oz bottles yesterday of Gatorade and 6-20 oz bottles of water).
At this point I weighed myself again. Since the morning (on empty stomach) I had lost .2 pounds.

At 5PM, I mixed the Mirolax and 64 oz of Gatorade. I was supposed to drink 8 oz every 15 minutes. I drank 32 oz at 5. At 6, I drank the other 32 oz. And waited.

At 7, still waiting. At 9 still waiting. Finally everything hit me, and I was pretty much up all night using the facilities.

If you ever have this cocktail, you will also need 409, paper towels, a plunger, and at least 1 new roll of TP.

So at 6AM, I got up and weighed myself. I lost .2 pounds. 0.2 FUCKING POUNDS!!! D took me to the hospital for a colonoscopy. At 8:30, I was ready to go. I have no clue how the procedure went. All I remember is being asked about anethestelogy a million times. At 9:15 I was awake, and told I needed to "pass air." Finally D was there and I told him the next "air pass" was not going to be air. I found the restroom, and I'm glad I know my body. D said the restroom was NOT soundproof.

So the doctor came, and told us that everything looked fine despite my colon wasn't completely cleaned out. WTF?!?!?! An entire bottle of Mirolax and I'm not empty. Anyway, I have no cysts, tumors, polyps or anything else. I get to go see the doctor next week to swallow a camera pill. I am still saying they won't find anything.

So D took me to get a milkshake while he had a bagel (I wasn't allowed one). Then we went to buy Kraft Mac and Cheese. Came home, and found Guinness has thumbs! She took the peanut butter off the coffee table (isn't that where you keep it?) , took off the cap, stuck her snout in the jar and licked it clean. I would blame Po, but guess who has peanut breath. D shook his head, made sure I was comfy, and he left for work.

He gets home tonight, and gets to pick up Vic from the airport at 11PM. He is trying to put on a good face about it. (I'm not allowed to drive until tomorrow). Tomorrow, Anne, Vic and I are running the Run Like Hell 5K. D is going to watch until he has to go to work at 10, so he'll get to see Anne and Vic cross the finish. (D has inventory at his store, so he has crazy hours right now...I'm still shocked they "allowed" him off work to take me to the hospital).

Afterward, Vic and I are going to the Decatur Beer Festival. (Anne didn't want to go).


~Diet Goddess~ said...

Glad that nothing was found. And the coffee table is the most normal place to keep the jar of PB! They should change the name to peanut butter table, as a matter of fact. Who puts their coffee there???

Good luck with your race!

Tammy said...

Ugh! All of that to find nothing was wrong. But, hey, at least nothing was wrong!

Maybe Po got the peanut butter open, and Guinness took it away? Little hoodinis, I tell ya!

mommie2lea said...

1) While I am so happy to hear that your colon is healthy, I hope the capsule swallow helps you find the issue and get to feeling better.

2) Have a GREAT run today with the ladies! I hope you have a blast!

3) Amen to the "just air" when we know it is not... and I don't feel sorry for the nurse who refused to let me go to the potty o let go of what she was sure was "just sir" as I left it all over the floor for her.

4) Lol on the peanut butter story. :-)

Viv said...

I know when you go through all that and nothing but on the very bright side it is nothing which is a lot to be happy for.