When good intentions go bad...

Porter on Friday night waiting for me to get home

So, Saturday I got up at 7. Very unusual. I got dressed, got the pups ready and we went out for a warm-up/poop break. Dropped Porter off, and Guinness and I went for a 2 mile run. We went through the hood, rather than the subdivision because I didn't feel like doing hills. Guinness was fine with that. The run was just there. I really didn't feel like running, but my weight is out of control, so at least running let's me maintain the weight.

Guinness and I got home, and I got ready to go get my haircut. Guinness has taken to taking a shower with me in the morning. I think she thinks it'll annoy me. Rather, I go and get my camera and take pics of her.

Guinness in the shower

So I got my haircut. Catherine my stylist thinks my hair is damaged. How does someone who gets her hair cut every 7 weeks have split ends. Also, dry, dry, dry. She told me I must start using conditioner, and when did I stop using it...um like 5 years ago.

So with that I went to PetSmart. I bought the dogs some food, a muzzle, and hot pink poop bags. Now I know D would love hot pink...the reason I bought them is I have a habit of taking the grey ones and putting them in my pocket and then leaving them around the house. Since our house is neutral they don't stand out, and at any given time, you can find at least 5 around if you search hard enough. The hot pink is to cut down on the search. And finally I bought some clippers. D and I had decided to start saving money and shave Porter ourselves. Now D shaves his own head, so he has human clippers and these plastic things (guards) and some other things.
All I know is the clippers don't work on my legs, so I don't use them.

So I got home and showed Porter all the new items I bought. I thought it would take an hour to shave her, so I gave Guinness a Benadryl, because I was going to brush her after Porter's shave. 4 hours later I have a living room completely covered in hair and a pooch who is hiding underneath the kitchen table. I sent D a text apologizing. He asked about the guard. I asked what a guard was. He asked the length of the blade...I said what came with the clippers. All these answers to questions I didn't know to ask.

Mom, what did you do to me?

So now I need a 7 blade and some guards for my 10 blade.

Live and learn.

Porter did finally give me a kiss last night. She is no Sexy Bitch...more like a Clown.
Thank God she isn't a child because child services would be ringing the bell.

But I have to wait awhile. Too much skin is showing, so she might get burned if going outside. My poor baby. Waiting for the hair to grow back!

Terrapin Brewery 5K + 1 more Mile

So I don't remember what I blogged about last.

Easter weekend, D and I went to visit my dad, so he could meet my dogs. Well, he already knew Guinness, but hadn't seen her in 6 years and he had never met Porter. So off we went.

Sunday, while there we (D and I and Guinness) went for a 4 mile run. It was to make sure I could do 4 miles for my 5K + 1 more mile at Terrapin Brewery. I burned 1000 calories, but Guinness and I did it. So I was excited for my 5K+ 1 more mile (henceforth 4.1K).

So that was Saturday. My friend M and friend V were doing it with D and me. It was M's first race ever. So Friday, I tried to tell her to relax...
Things to do…
Wear the same clothes that you have been wearing to run in. No new socks, no new shoes, etc. no new foods (ie don’t listen to someone and eat a Clif Bar right before you start if you have not done that in the past).
Relax
Your only enemy is your brain. Tell it to shut up.
Walking is not your enemy. Running to the point that you need an IV is (this is where you have to fight your brain).
Have fun. Think of how much you have accomplished to get this far. No one can take that away from you.

The race didn't start until 4 and it was in Athens, GA. So I got ready for the race. As we were about to leave the house, I go to put lotion on my legs. The entire bottle explodes so I'm covered in lotion as is the entire bathroom. D searches for a clean shirt, and doesn't find one. So he finds the least offensive dirty shirt and I put that on. So D and I dropped the pups off at the kennel and left at 1. At 3:30 we finally found the place (77 miles). For a state that bitches about all roads in Atlanta named Peachtree, at least they are named Peachtree RD, Peachtree Terrace, Peachtree Battle, etc. All roads in Athens seemed to be named 78/29/10. So when we got to the brewery for the run, I was already ready for a beer. I didn't get one but noticed my mouth was extremely dry. I drank a Gatorade that D had brought. We got our race numbers, and tickets to the brewery, and waited for M and V, who knew I was in a bitchy mood. Luckily I had sent this to M who told her:
Oh don’t be shocked tomorrow (or pay it any attention)if I’m biatchy before the race. I get my mind focused on what I need to do, and start getting nervous if I can’t execute that.
So M knew to expect my bitchy normal self.

So we see our friends A and G. (G is in his new racing chair.).

The race starts and M and I are in the back. At about .3 miles, I feel like I'm keeping M back, so I tell her to go ahead, and she does. I pass G on a hill and ask him if he needs help. He says no. I hear him later ask someone for help. Then he rolls down the hill past me. I get to mile 1 and I have a PR of 12:20.

We turn off the main road, and there is this hill. Now my friends will tell you the hills I run in my 'hood are a bitch but this thing is monstrous. And there is G rolling backwards. So I push him up. We get to the top and he gives me some water, but I don't want to take it all because of course there will be a water station. He goes ahead and I'm feeling woozy. My heart is pounding in my head. I look at my HRM and it says 220. OMG! No way I can run. So I finally get to the water station and there is NO water. My HR is 190 so I continue walking. I can see G on the next hill and no one is helping him. I'm sure of all the runners out there, there is 1 or 2 that are not going to PR and know it and can help him. But no.

My HR is at 188. If I help him, I will be dead on the ground.

A woman who had been behind me passes me and helps him up the hill. He gets to the top and decides to just turn around. I pass D who helps G down the hill. So I get to the foreclosed subdivision, and start to run. HR flies back up, so a lot more walking. I finally cross mile 2. I finish the subdivision and go back to go down the hill. I'm still kind of scared, so I ask the volunteer about water. He tells me it is at the Brewery. I ask about a medic (this is how scared I am) and he says it is at the Brewery. So I FINALLY get my HR to 160s and jog. I get to mile 3, and start doing the 5 minute run/1 min walk. I am left alone with my head and I'm going nuts. I want to cry, but I have no tears. I want to spit but my mouth is glued shut. I'm wondering what has happened to humanity, and how I really hate people. Finally I see the mile 4 sign and see D. I toss him my keys, scream water and he tosses me a bottle. He runs back to tell M and V to not say anything. I cross the finish and trip over something (67 minutes).

M's face is bright red (she doesn't sweat), and I can tell she is probably as disoriented as I am. So D tells us to go to the car, and we'll get some gatorade. We turn on the AC full blast. After about 10 minutes my HR is down to 125. I tell myself to forget about the awful race and be glad for M. She did terrific.

D and V get our beer glasses, and we head for some beer. We all got some cute schwag too. I got a car magnet that says, "In my dreams, I'm a Kenyan." V and M got shirts that say "Run for Beer" and "This IS my race pace."

I did talk to the race director (no I didn't yell at him). I told him about the lack of water, and got the whole first race ever, blah, blah, blah. The medic thing, his eyes bulged out of his head, and he was very sorry. He also commended me for knowing that something was wrong and not to keep running.

G came up while we were looking at schwag and thanked me for the help. I felt kind of dumb, because in my mind it is what people do (help), but obviously not. So it goes out to ... I hate people.

V, M and I sat on the ground and listened to the band. D was texting someone. My favorite beer was the Terrapin Nut Brown, but I already knew this. After about an hour we headed towards Athens (on 78/29/10), cleaned up and had a few beers.

The trip was fun. I'm disappointed in the race, only because I wanted to know how on pace I was for my 10K at the end of May. Running with Guinness the week before I ran 4.28 in 69 minutes (69 heheheh). But running with her is no guage for me, as we stop and talk to weeds, wind, poop, etc. Especially since when I ran with her, I never had to walk. Oh well. Life goes on.

Next known race for me is Komen Race for the Cure, my least favorite race of all time...cause is good, the number of people is not.
You can sponsor me...
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Running and Swimming and My Dog is Dumb

So Porter is stupid. Well considering that her nickname is Stupid, this is really no shock. I got home Tuesday and told the pups we were going for 2.5. I still don't have the Garmin charged (perhaps because I don't know where I put it, but it is in a safe place). So off to do the .25 warm-up/poop break. There was a dead leaf coming down the street and it was scraping the street making this noise. So Porter runs up to it, and growls. The wind moves it. She growls at it again, puts her tail between her legs and backs up. The leaf achieved its scariness. Porter the Rott/Chow mix retreats back to me.

So coming back from the common area, Porter and Guinness start barking when we walk past Mushu's house. Mushu (another dog) is peaking through the door. Porter doesn't really know why she is barking and starts looking around. SMACK! Walks right into a tree and falls off the curb. Perhaps I should be making sure she is ok, but I was too busy laughing at her.

So we dropped her off, and Guinness and I do the 1mile loop twice with some extra laps on the common areas to lengthen it to 2.5. Did I measure before going out? No (so who is the stupid one). Also did I talk to D and find out he had taken Guinness running for 2.5 miles at 330 and here I am at 5 taking her out? No. Overall, although slow it was a good run. It was 40 degrees outside, and Guinness was not pulling. We got home and she went upstairs, under the bed and went to sleep. Slept until morning.

Wednesday, I went to the pool. Got there at 615p. Went in, and the guy tells me the pool is open but I can't get in the pool. I am pretty sure my look to him said it all, because then he hands me a schedule and says the pool is reserved by the swim team from 5-7 each evening. I didn't even know our city had a swim team. Anyway, I sit in the car texting people from then until 650. Then I go back inside. I ask the guy about a year pass, but I can't write a check, pay cash or use a credit card. Finally I got out of him that I had to get a money order or a cashier's check. I can see the city trusts its employees very much.

Anyway the pool is much less crowded on Wednesday night than on Sat morning. I had a lane all to myself. I did 1000 m in about the same amount of time I did 800 on Sat. Not bad. I now have to work on not stopping every 25 m.

Time: 14:35 (walk)
Mileage: .25 (58:24 min/mile)
Time: 40:12 (run)
Mileage: 3.4 (16:45 min/mile)
Calories: 507
Max HR 178
Avg HR 151
In Zone 16:48

Time: 35:55 (swim)
Mileage: 1000m (3:35 min/100m)
Calories: 360
Max HR 160
Avg HR 144
In Zone 13:06

I Ran

Well I had a blog and it went away to the far netherworld of my computer cache.

So the alarm yesterday went off at 530. D and I looked at each other and he reset it for 7. We got up and went to work. I have a whole 12 hours this week. Woohoo!

I went and got him goggles. It was a whole thing because Sports Authority had them for $17.99 and $16.99 with the same SKU and you know what they rung up as. This was after I verified with an employee that they would be $16.99. Also I mentioned Dick's had them for $16.99. So off to the cashier, and he had to get the manager who acted like it was the biggest deal. She even said,
"It's only $1." I said, "It is about to be $16.99 less in your till. I'll go to Dick's." I got the goggles for $16.99.

So on the way home, D called and said he wasn't doing Shred because his work was once again FUBAR and he was way ticked off. That was fine.

So I got home, and Guinness, Porter and I went for our .25 mile warmup/poop break. Then Guinness and I dropped Porter at home.

Now I don't know why because the first mile of my 3 mile route is almost identical to the first mile of my 1 mile (or 2 mile) route, but I find it so much easier. So after 1 mile we talked to the German Shepherd. Guinness must have had 5 quarts of water before I got home, because she peed like every 100 ft, or so it seemed. We ran up to the prison. One guy at the convenience store talked to her. She wanted no part of him. We skipped the elementary school hill because it would have kicked my ass. Plus it is on the 4 mile route, not the 3 mile. We ran 3.32 miles. I wanted to go 3.5, but I didn't plan out the run, and Garmin is dead and I keep forgetting to recharge him.

We got home. Guinness drank some water and then went under the bed to sleep (her den). I made dinner; D came home; we ate, and facebooked.

Elevation of my run...

Time: 12:01 (walk)
Mileage: .25 (48:04 min/mile)
Time: 52:55 (run)
Mileage: 3.32 (15:56 min/mile)
Calories: 691
Max HR 179
Avg HR 158
In Zone 23:44

I will be a triathlete!

No, I'm not going for 70.3 (yet).

But my confidence got a huge boost on Saturday. I got up and went to the pool. It opened at 9. I of course got there at 845. I was sitting on a bleacher because the swim team was in the pool, when the swim coach goes, "What are you waiting for? Get in the pool!" So I did, with my new goggles.

It was so weird to open my eyes under water and be able to see (contacts).

So my goal was 200m (8 laps). At 100m another woman got in the lane. We just split the lane in half. Which was ok, because I swim on the rope, so I got that side. Man I like to hit that thing. At 300m (notice I passed my goal), another woman asked if she could join us. Luckily I read about pool lane etiquette, because I wouldn't have known how to swim with 3 in the lane.

Both women were faster than me, and passed me a few times, but they made me swim harder. And longer. I went for 800m. Well at 750m I swallowed a lot of water and then at 775m I swallowed some more, so I decided I was done.

But it was fun. And being able to swim that far...well now I just have to learn to ride the damn bike!

Season pass for the pool is $90. I think I'm going to get one.

Time: 32:40 (swim)
Mileage: 800m (4:06 min/100m)
Calories: 348
Max HR 169
Avg HR 149
In Zone 18:35

2 miles on a Friday...

So I was already for swimming. I went to Dick's and bought my goggles. I drove home from there, after I went and got a Ft. Collin's IPA and a Ron Burgundy beer to celebrate my 2nd day of being furloughed.
Eyeroll...

Swimming after beer...probably not the best idea but eh. So I got to the natatorium to check the hours, and found out on Friday they are closed. Oh well. Got home and had 2 pairs of eyes looking longingly at me. Got dressed and took the girls for the .25 warmup and dropped of Porter.

So out for a "quick" run. Mile 1 was fine. Mile 2...Guinness nearly pulled me down. I don't know how I stayed up, because I saw my ankle starting to slowly roll over, but prevented it.

Off for a shower and some more beers!

Oh and I lost all of the Guinness Birthday Party Weight. Woohoo!

Swim tomorrow.

Time: 11:05 (walk)
Mileage: .25 (44:20 min/mile)
Time: 33:10 (run)
Mileage: 2 (16:35 min/mile)
Time: 16:19 (walk)
Mileage: .75 (21:45 min/mile)
Calories: 728
Max HR 187
Avg HR 170
In Zone 9:44