Weight I have lost

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What should have been a happy day at Macy's...

I stopped at Macy's yesterday on my way home. I need some jeans since I have gone from 4 to 2 pair (2 are too big). So I walked in and completely got disoriented, like I do everytime I'm there.

I remember clothes for fat chicks are on the second floor. I went up the escalator. And I got off, and none of the signs pointed to clothing for fat chicks. So I look at the directory. It says they are on the first floor. Immediately I think that this sign is wrong since it has been wrong since the day they opened, but my head said, follow the sign. So I went back downstairs and walked the entire women's department to not find clothes for fat chicks.

So I asked some twit.
Me: Where is your Women's department?
Twit: The Misses department is over there.
Me: I don't wear Misses. I needed 18-24.
Twit: The Misses department is over there.
Me: (staring with mouth agape at her stupidity)
Me: Again, Fat clothes, where are they?
Twit: We must not sell those.

By now, I want to hit this twit. So I walked away, and went to another twit.
Me: Where is your Women's department?
Twit: The Misses department is over there.
Me: (Staring in disbelief)...Fat clothes, where are they?
Twit: What does the sign say?
Me: The first floor
Twit: Then they are on the first floor.

OMFG! Did Macy's make people take "how dumb am I" tests?

So now, I'm completely exasperated, but it is now a mission to find the Fucking Fat Chicks Department! So upstairs I went. I found a lady in pots and pans, and asked her where Fat Chicks Clothing was. She busted out laughing, and then said, "The women's department, that I believe you are looking for, would be next to the men's sportswear. Our sign is wrong and I'm so sorry you couldn't find it." She then pointed to where the men's sportswear was and told me how to get there.

So I finally get there and find a pair of Michael Kors Jeans which are the only jeans that seem to have a bit of style and aren't "mom" jeans. Unfortunately they are $110, and I can't afford that. So I look at the bathing suits. I think a tent would look better than these fabric monstrosities they call fat chick bathing suits.

So back downstairs to the Misses Department. They have 18 and 20 sizes there for the bathing suits. I find one I like, but am so mad at Macy's that I decide I'm not going to buy anthing there, so I leave.

I did take a picture in the dressing room to send to D. He was the one to point out that I was in an 18 and not a 18W, or in the Fat Chicks Department. I was so exasperated with Macy's I completely didn't realize.

So all night I looked at bathing suits online. I am going to Dick's to see if they have the one I like. Even if they don't have my size, I can get a feel for how it will look.


Marcy said...

OMFG girl you CRACK ME UP!!! HAHAHHAHAAAAA I *heart* you!

Kelly said...

LOL Alb! I haven't had much luck with the workers at Macy's myself.

Delane said...

I did not have to read beyond the title of this thread. I FUCKING HATE MACYS!!!!!

Tammy said...

I have learned to never ask the twits at Macy's for help... If I can't find it myself, I just go somewhere else!

paige said...

OMG Alb! You sure do have a way of telling a story!! LMAO

Viv said...

Last year I was at a Macy's here in FL and they did not have a fat chicks dept. I felt so ex'd out of society. Anywhoo sweet on finding and heading over to misses dept.
twits= great word

Julia said...

You shoulda smacked the twits!!!! Macy's employees are so clueless!

Hope said...

W00t on the misses department! Best thing ever!

Carly said...

LMFAO!!!!! Alb you make me laugh. Macy's sucks major ass! I probably would have knocked over one of their trashy table displays in protest!

Pokey said...

Clueless people kill me!! Good for you for keeping your cool....think I would have lost it! LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I fucking hate shopping for clothes, and your Macys story is a perfect example of why. Dumb twits and incorrect signage.

Oh, that and I'm fat.

AKA Alice said...

I hate Macy's (and all their ilk)...

Hey, where've ya been? Hope everything's OK. We miss you!

~Denise~ said...

That is HILARIOUS! Only because I can understand.