Weight I have lost

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Leaves Are Not My Thing

I'm eventually going to write my marathon race report, but there is a greater issue going on.  My hatred of leaves.  

I've known since I was very young I hated them.  We lived on one side of Patapsco State Park and the grocery store was on the other side.  Even at age 4, I could figure out we went from this bright "happening" place to this dark, dreary environment.  The surprise was the other side and the MEMCO, which was like a Sam's Club with lights before Sam's Club was ever around.  (Rte 40, in MD driving from Howard County to Baltimore County).  Even if we did go to the state park, to see the colors of the leaves, I was bored.  Leaves are gross.

My dad used to ride his motorcycle to go see the leaves change colors.  When I was 13 or 14 I would go with him.  I would have one side of my head pressed into his back, and look at the colors.  I would hope he would ride to DC or Baltimore so we could look at the different stonework in the buildings.  It never happened.

Ironically, I ended up moving to the City of Trees, Atlanta.  I actually had no idea this was Atlanta's moniker until recently.  I don't know why people say Atlanta has no seasons.  There are at least 4, just usually no snow.   You certainly get to see the leaves.  Having a 30 mile one way commute that takes 60-75 minutes one way and 90-120 minutes the other way, I get to see the leaves.  And every day I think how ugly they are.  It doesn't matter what color they are.  Someone said the colors are beautiful. And I think, once you've seen 1 red leaf, 1 yellow leaf, 1 green leaf, and 1 orange, haven't you seen them all? And if they are changing colors, they are just all going to turn brown and fall on the ground, and you are either going to have to rake them or hire someone to rake them.

I traveled to Vermont with friends once on a road trip.  I don't know how many times we had to freakin' stop to look at the leaves.  It was painful.  I would much rather wait for the phone to ring or watch paint dry.

So I usually think about my hatred of leaves about once a year.  And this year, I commented on it to my friend V.  Since D and I have been running the Silver Comet Trail, I said how boring it was, plus once you saw the 4 leaves, eh.  V laughed and said she guessed I didn't want the WaPo article about places to getaway to see the leaves.  Really?  People do this?  The conversation further ensued about how wet leaves really suck and if you're a child and your father makes you rake them, touching the wet ones is disgusting.  Not to mention if you put your hands in a pile of them, there might be snakes underneath. And the smell?  Moldy dying tree smell.  Blech. The wet leaves are bad for runners too.  So slick. Can you tell nature and I are one with each other?

When I bought my first house, I was so happy as there were only 2 trees in the yard and one never took off.  In our current house, 2 of the trees that were supposed to be in our yard "magically" moved in the middle of the night to our neighbors' yards.  We still have 2.  They weren't buried deep enough because I trip over the roots all the time.  All I think about is that the roots of the trees are going to demolish the pipes in the house.  My neighbors cut the limbs of one of the trees so it is no longer resting on my roof (I had asked him if I could do it) for critters to come live in our attic.  Why did he cut them? Oh, because the limbs of another tree fell on his car.  So I'm not really sure if it is leaves or trees, but either way, I'm not fond.

So this post is going somewhere.
This is what I got last month.  All that hard work for LEAVES!!!!

Yes, it's for real, and it's mine
But secretly, I'm damn proud of these leaves.  Just don't tell anyone.

Now the leaves below...just cut them down so I can look at people.
Sitting in traffic with nothing to look at but leaves...I actually have pictures from 2012 bitching about this

Another day sitting in traffic with nothing to look at but leaves...I actually have pictures from 2012 bitching about this

1 comment:

Carolina John said...

I love trees! They keep the air clean, provide shade, keep your house cooler, and most of the roots aren't invasive. But I do get irritated every year when I have to get on the roof and blow the leaves off, and then rake them out of the shrubs and yard. Still, getting enough color makes it totally worth it. The green leaves in the spring make me want to go ride bikes, and the reds and yellows in the fall make me love football even more.