You Run? No, really, you run?: June 2014

Monday, June 30, 2014

June's Jaunts

Weight Lost: 3.3 pounds
Miles Run/Walked: 36.67 miles
Longest Run: 5.5 miles
How many runs missed: 6 (5 post surgery, 1 pre)
Achievements: Getting in 4 runs a week after surgery
Craziness: Thinking I would be able to run the Tuesday after surgery

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Pain in the Ovary of Being a Woman

I went running yesterday after taking off over a week. Surgery will do that.

Are we ever running again?

Warning: Talking about lady parts!

So way back in 2012, I noticed every other month, about 2 weeks before getting my period that my left side would hurt. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, but enough to have to ~~wipe out the work medicine cabinet~~ buy some Advil and take it. In June of 2013, I went to the doctor because I accidentally decided to diagnose myself via Google and discovered I had cancer, which is far scarier than the usual diagnosis of erectile dysfunction. At the doctor, she didn't find much but said I had endometriosis. What a relief...Instead of a potential life threatening disease, I was only going to be a complete bitch a week before PMS. Awesome! Anyway, I really didn't follow anything the doctor said to do.

In March 2014, I went to see the doctor. I still had the pain. I also now had a $3000 deductible, and she suggested surgery. I laughed at her and promptly decided to lose some weight, eat better, and exercise (those things she told me to do before).

On May 20th, I woke up wanting to cut out my ovary myself. I don't know what was going on but it was the 2nd worst pain ever (so on those stupid pain scales they ask you about I guess it was a 9, (although I told the doc an 11) because the bronchitis/pneumonia/strep/coughing blood pain was still much worse). I had noticed McMenamin had been guarding my abdomen for about 3 days before that, which was unusual. I called the doctor and she fit me in on May 21. (And then I went running, because if it was going to hurt, it was going to hurt). She told me I had a cyst that burst and I should probably get a laparoscopy (lap) or get some shots that induce a temporary menopause. After thinking about how Gemma on SOA and how the Golden Girls just loved menopause, and the fact the shots could also cause depression, mood swings, weight gain, and a whole bunch of other things that I already experienced, I decided menopause would only happen once in my life and to do the lap. Now for some reason in my head, I associated this as surgery as complex as an endoscopy or colonoscopy. (I've had both. I had an endoscopy in the morning once and painted the bathroom that night. So NBD). I didn't do any Googling this time. So the surgery was set up for Friday the 13th (June 13). Apparently a lot of people are superstitious so there was an opening. The weeks leading up to it were kind of a whirlwind. I still hurt, but the doctor gave me Lortab so I could get through my pain. I ran the rest of my scheduled runs in May, and missed one in June.

So June 5 I went to pre-op. The doc explained what she was going to do. "Just insert a 5mm camera in my belly button, look around and clean some stuff. Will definitely make 2 incisions, perhaps 4." Also, "you probably will be able to run after 4 days, but it may take 2 weeks." (I heard, "You will feel fine after a day, and be able to run after 4."). We spent the rest of the time talking about all the waivers I had to sign and she told me to get an advanced directive, just as a precaution. And she asked if D was going to take me to and from surgery. Then she sent me over to the hospital to get blood taken and to pay that $3000 deductible. Haha! Jokes on them, as I forgot my check book. I paid some part of it, gave them my blood, got weighed about 4 times, and then went to work.

Between 6/5 and 6/13- No less than 8 people asked if D was going to drive me to and from surgery. I began to wonder what "for better or for worse" meant. I questioned him if he thought it was weird he was taking me. I wondered if we were weird. I began to wonder how many people were in messed up relationships that their SO wouldn't take them to a surgery that was planned (if they were financially able to take off).

Thursday 6/12: Looked up what time I was supposed to stop eating and drinking. 8 hours before surgery. Did they mean the surgery or the time I had to get there? I'll go with the time to get there. D and I went and had a huge meal of fried pickles, and a brisket burrito and mac and cheese.

"Last Meal" at Smoke Ring 6/12

Friday 6/13: At 2am (thanks alarm), I got up and ate the rest of my mac and cheese and had a few more bites of the burrito. I was nervous and couldn't sleep. I drank 6 glasses of water. Then I laid in bed. At 945, I got up took a shower and cleaned the shower. Then spent the longest time ever brushing my teeth I was so thirsty. Finally at 1030 we left and went to the outpatient center. There some biatches sat there and talked about food the ENTIRE time while eating. I may have said something about how rude that was. But the highlight was they talked about a gourmet drink. I shit you not when I tell you it was 1 Cup of Sugar, Water and 1 packet of Kool-Aid. I sat and texted my brother most of this. Then they called me back and I answered more questions. The nurses were all pretty nice. Then D was allowed to come back. We both sat there. We tried to figure out where he was going to go get lunch while I was in surgery. They hooked me up to an IV.

High as a kite- going to the operating room

Finally I was wheeled out to the OR. I think I was high at this point, because I don't really remember all that. I woke up in the post-op area. All I wanted was water. I kept asking the nurse for water. She asked me if I wanted to see D. I told her I wanted water. She gave me saltines. I asked for water. She got me a diet coke. I shotgunned that down, and she gave me another. D came back and I drank his Coke Zero. Then another nurse, Linda came in and we talked to her. They had these massager things on my legs that were awesome. She took them off. I got dressed, and she let me have the hospital gown, and she and D wheeled me to the car. I talked to my dad and D's dad. I have no idea what I said. My shoulders hurt. D took me to Sonic and got me a huge Diet Coke and a Milk Shake. After that, I went to bed. I may have had Chinese food too, or that was Saturday. The days blend together.

Saturday I slept, and drank a ton of water. My shoulder hurt from the anesthesia. I wore the hospital gown because it didn't hurt my waist. I was supposed to walk. I walked to the bathroom a lot. I bled a lot. D got me water like every 10 minutes. I stopped counting after 20 cups. Percocet too. Sunday, I told him I felt a lot better. He thought so too until I nearly fell down the stairs (while going up). Scared the hell out of us both. Still on lots of Percocet. Still bleeding. D decided he would stay home on Monday. I continued drinking a lot of water. Slowly got my appetite back. I walked with D while he walked the dogs. Wearing pants was difficult. I think I sat on the couch once between Saturday and Monday. I hurt. This recovery was nothing like a colonoscopy. Tuesday I was on my own. McMenamin almost died by my hand when he scratched my belly button (one of the incision spots). He stayed away from me for the rest of the day. I now could walk around and get my own water, but sitting was still not in the cards. I was exhausted. I felt better, but still hurt. I looked at the pics of my surgery. Apparently they found another cyst, and D told me they cut everything out. The doc had told me they were going to burn everything out. Thinking about that exhausted me.

Wednesday, same shit different day. I did walk Lompoc because she needed to go. Then I took a nap. I emailed the doctor about the bleeding. She emailed back but didn't answer about the bleeding. Since I knew I wasn't hemmoraghing, that was good. Her email said my biopsies were benign. Benign. I sat there, and started to cry. Now again, this goes back to "the no big deal" surgery. It never occurred to me they were testing for anything. This scared the hell out of me. I can't really explain it except to say I was WAY OVERWHELMED. Kind of like the time she told me she wasn't sure I could have children. Since I don't want children, it shouldn't bug me, but still to hear I may not have the choice kind of is bothersome (another doctor said I couldn't). That night I took no Percocet. Thursday I got up to go to work. About 15 minutes after my shower, I laid back down, emailed my boss that work was out of the question and went to bed. There was no way I could sit upright in rush hour traffic 60-120 minutes with a seat belt on. Then I went to sleep with a huge Advil. I probably took another picture of Lompoc. Somewhere around Thursday it dawned on me that they cut into my stomach muscle so that's probably why recovery was slow. I still was planning on walking on Saturday while D ran. And Thursday night I HAD to get out of the house. I couldn't watch one more Criminal Minds, Law and Order, Golden Girls, Frasier, or House Hunters (no, I don't watch soccer at all, so if it is on every 4 years, that won't change it for me). So D and I went and had 3 beers and a milk shake.

Celebratory "Biopsy Benign" Beer- Straight to Ale Monkeynaught

Stone Collective Distortion IPA

Friday was the big day. I was going to drive. I had to go to the post office. I thought I would be going on Monday the 16th, but that didn't happen. So I finally got there and mailed off my property tax appeal. Then I decided I wanted a hamburger so I went up the street. Soccer was on the TV. I forgot my phone. I ate my hamburger. I talked to 2 women. I had a beer. And then I left. I was exhausted. I was also sore. But I had to go out again and get my haircut. My stylist and I talked. She brought up the point about the menopause shot, that I would have also gone through puberty again. Yeah, I made the right choice. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. So I went to bed. Of course I woke up about an hour later. I didn't sleep at all. I ended up not going to the gym with D. I slept a little while he was there. Then we went to get lunch. I was still bleeding. Jesus. And I was having trouble walking. I wanted to go to one bar in Decatur but we couldn't find parking and the walking thing was an issue, so we went to a bar in Little 5 Points. We may have had a lot of beers. I may have had my pants unbuttoned the entire time. Finally we decided to go and Uber'd back home. After "sleeping" for 2 hours, I stayed up again. D got up at 6am and we went and got my car before he went to work. I came home and slept for another hour. And then was up again.

I sat around and watched more mindless TV. Still bleeding. Monday I went to work. Wearing pants for that long buttoned was painful. The zipper rests on 2 of the incisions. I got home, and finally slept.

Tuesday, I went to work and then went to the gym. Those 2 miles were so weird. First, my heart rate was flying, and I was running way slower than normal. Second, even the trainer (not my trainer) noticed it, and asked if I was ok. After I ran, I was walking and couldn't get my heart rate down. I was walking at 2.8 mph. Finally, just standing there doing nothing, it fell. So then I came home, still bleeding.

I swear, I don't like having my period on a "normal" month. This is just freaking ridiculous.

But I can't end on this, so I'll end with pics of McMenamin, Scuttlebutt, and mostly Lompoc throughout the week.